Rebecca: A Snowcake Story
by cutiemama3
Summary: This takes place immediately after the end of Snowcake, Alex's trip to Winnipeg. It includes letters written to Rebecca, Ryan's mother, after he was sent to jail.


Rebecca

A Snowcake story

Dear Alex,

Ryan's funeral was held today. It was a perfect day, not a cloud in the sky. Everyone who knew Ryan sent flowers, food, cards, notes and letters; expressing their sympathy and how much they loved him.

I was surprised at the turn-out, because Ryan was a shy boy, but his helpfulness to others touched them all in ways I hadn't known about. One of his teachers spoke about his help tutoring a fellow student with learning challenges. One of the students talked about how he always helped out with the jobs no one wanted to do; like cleaning up after a dance, even though he never danced.

As much as I love that he's being remembered for the sweet boy that he was, I would rather have that shy young man back at home, staying out late with friends, complaining about college application deadlines, and getting up the nerve to ask a girl for a date.

I couldn't watch as the coffin was lowered into the grave, or the covering of it. I walked back to the car and cried alone. The headstone will be done next week. I'll visit again then.

Which brings me to my letter, it's not just to tell you about the funeral. When you are released I was wondering if you would like to visit? We can visit Ryan's grave, but more importantly, you can visit his home, and his room. I'm going to leave it the way he left it, I thought if you came you could get to know him better by seeing his room, hearing stories about him, hands on, instead of just a letter.

I'm enclosing a baby picture of him. I should have sent it to you a long, long time ago. Please let me know if you would like to visit. Keep in touch, if it would help the time pass more quickly.

Sincerely,

Rebecca

Dear Rebecca,

Thank you for your letter, and the picture of Ryan. I was somewhat surprised to hear from you, though very pleased. I would very much like to come and visit you and see Ryan's room. I would still like to get to know him better, however possible that will be four years from now. Keeping in touch would certainly help the time pass, but I understand that you have a busy life, so please don't feel compelled. Only as you are able.

Gratefully yours,

Alex

Dear Alex,

I just had my first week back to work since Ryan died. It was a welcome distraction. I work with senior citizens both in their home and convalescent homes. Every day is different and as an occupational therapist I'm rewarded with them learning new skills for greater independence. I didn't feel much like smiling but they are all such lovely people, I couldn't help it.

How are you coping? How are you spending your days?

Sincerely,

Rebecca

Dear Rebecca,

I'm keeping quiet and mostly to myself. I spend as much time in the library as I can, working or reading. I'm a bit like a monk. I even go to church services, just to pass the time, not because I believe in God necessarily. Otherwise our time is strictly regimented: meals, chores, outside time, which I abhor but it's supposedly good for our health. For me it's just forced socialization and I'd rather be left alone. I'll be social when I leave. Maybe.

I remember you were studying to be a nurse. What got you into occupational therapy?

Gratefully yours,

Alex

Dear Alex,

Sorry I haven't written in a while, I had a bit of a breakdown. I started crying at work and couldn't stop. One of my new clients was telling me about losing her own son in a car accident when he was 16. She didn't know of my recent loss, she was just chatting. A friend called my Mother and she helped me calm down. She had found a Support Group for those dealing with traumatic loss and I've been going to the meetings. I cry every time I go, but when I get home or go to work, I'm not crying. I don't feel alone in my grief.

You remember correctly, I had just started going to college for nursing. Plans changed when I was, oops, pregnant. College was put on hold. I became a Certified Nursing Assistant and then when Ryan was a little older, I took training for OT. I have no regrets, Ryan was the best thing to happen to me, even if he wasn't planned for.

Did you continue with your art? I remember you were quite talented.

Sincerely,

Rebecca

Dear Rebecca,

I'm sorry you were having a difficult time, I can only imagine how much pain you are in. Bedtime is the worst here. You can hear the sobs and stifled cries from others the later it gets. That's when I find myself grieving the losses.

The leader of one of the AA meetings here wanted me to come and speak about what happened. I suggested someone scarier. Speaking in front of people is the last thing I want to do, even if it would be cathartic.

You remember correctly, I did go to college to pursue my art; I ended up majoring in graphic design. I have a studio I share with two other designers. They're holding down the fort for me for when I return, and promised to give me my old job back. In the meantime, my creativity is stinted.

Ever grateful,

Alex

Dear Alex,

I remember how shy you were. I knew that's where Ryan got it from. He would do a project, no problem, but explain it in front of the class and he'd sweat profusely.

I don't share much in group myself. Between the listening and the crying I can't articulate very well. I tell you about how I'm feeling more than anyone else, except my Mother. It doesn't matter that you didn't raise him, you were still the only Father he knew. You know what it is to lose a child.

It's almost six months now since he's been gone, and the worst of it has been the quiet house. Before I make dinner I go up to his room and turn on his stereo, just so I can hear the familiar bass pumping through the house. I never liked his music. Now I don't shut it off until bedtime.

My Mom showed me a flyer for a "Foster Parent Training" class. She said, maybe not now, but maybe sometime in the future, I could look into it. I could be a Mom again, just a different kind of Mom. No one can replace Ryan, but I can see the benefits of this, for all concerned. I think she wants to be a Grandmother again, too.

We'll see.

Are you making any plans for the future?

Sincerely yours,

Rebecca

**Three and a Half Years Later….**

Dear Alex,

Thank you for your last letter. I'm looking forward to your visit.

Enclosed please find my home address and phone number. Call if you are delayed. I have a guest room and you are more than welcome to stay here if you like.

I'll also be between children. Sasha is going to go live with her Grandmother permanently, I'm very happy for her. She was hoping the courts would allow it.

Anyways, I never know when another child will need to be settled in but getting ready won't be a problem.

See you soon. Safe travels.

Rebecca

**Winnipeg, Canada**

"Welcome!" she waved from the door. Alex waved and opened the trunk of his car, getting out his one small suitcase, and climbed the porch with a smile on his face. She remembered that smile, it had charmed the pants off of her 22 years ago. With a warm hug she led him inside.

"Sorry to arrive so close to bedtime, had a bit of a delay."

"Your room is right here, downstairs. You have your own bathroom and the kitchen is right down the hall. No worries about being late, we can sleep in tomorrow, I took the day off. Oh!" she turned and went back to the front door, grabbing a key ring from the hooks hanging from the side of the door. "Here." she handed it to him, a keyring with a miniature electric guitar and a single house key. "I'll have to work while you're visiting so you can use this to come and go as you please."

She was babbling excitedly, she took a deep breath and tried to relax. "Have you had dinner?"

"I've had junk food, not exactly a proper dinner.' he said with a yawn.

"How about I warm you up a bowl of pasta while you settle in. I'm sure you're tired after the long drive." He nodded with a smile and she went to heat up the leftover pasta alfredo. He looked good for a man newly released from prison, she thought. They treated him well in Wawa.

Alex noticed he was getting comfortable again. Rebecca was as kind as he remembered her. They spent hours sitting in Ryan's room reminiscing, talking about times together long ago, and times still to come.

Ryan and Vivienne had similar taste in music, and Rebecca laughed when he started singing along. She had a lovely smile. He soon remembered how they ended up so easily together in bed, or more actually, a sleeping bag. Friday night came all too quickly, he surprised her with sleeping bags on the living room floor and the makings for s'mores.

"This was a lovely surprise, Alex. Thank you."

He handed her a marshmallow, "My pleasure. It was a bit selfish on my part, I wanted to feel young again."

"Do you?"

He nodded with his mouth full.

"Good, so do I. Just without worrying what time my parents are coming home," she laughed.

"No curfew, no bedtime," Alex replied.

"So, do you wish to sleep here on the living room floor? Or in your own bed?"

"Sadly, the reality of my age means my back will not like sleeping on the floor, as romantic as the notion is."

It wasn't the answer she hoped for. She found herself just as attracted to Alex now as she had 20 years ago. He was kind, helpful, always did the dinner dishes if she cooked. She didn't know if he would have made a good father or not, but she was wishing she hadn't doubted him. At the time, she thought she was doing the responsible thing.

Now, she wanted to lead him upstairs to her shower and …

"Rebecca?" He interrupted her fantasy.

"Hm?"

"Have you had enough chocolate?" He asked again, apparently.

"Thank you, I've had more than enough." She folded the sleeping bags and put them under his bed. She hadn't bothered to turn on the light, she knew her way around without. She bumped into him getting up.

"Oh, I'm sorry Alex."

"It's ok," he said, holding her forearms so she didn't stumble. He didn't want to let go. She was as lovely as he remembered her and he really wished he could have stayed on the sleeping bags all night. He wasn't a terribly romantic man, but the s'mores was the only way he could think of to woo her again.

"I must confess, Rebecca, that I had ulterior motives with tonight's dessert. I've been enjoying our strolls down memory lane and it's brought up familiar feelings. If this isn't mutual I will understand and not lengthen my stay."

She didn't pull her hands away, she just smiled softly. "As a matter of fact, I've been feeling the same way."

He petted her hair, her lovely light brown hair and leaned in to kiss her. She was shaking a little, but the kiss melted into her mouth like the chocolate. Very sweet, and very needed. The kiss moved deeper and their tongues tasted each other, now ravenous with hunger. They undressed each other. Until he got to the bra. "Would you like some help?" Rebecca asked.

"Please," as he worked on her pants. The bra opened in the front, hence his trouble. Her breasts were glorious. No longer a young girl's, her figure had filled out and she was luscious. Alex sat on the bed and worshipped them. Taking them into his mouth and suckling gently. She played her fingers through his hair.

He helped her off with her panties and ran his fingers along her torso. She laid down next to him. His fingers played all over and in her lovely pussy. Her moans encouraged him on. He tried to be thorough, and generous. He couldn't resist putting his mouth down there. He remembered she especially liked that. A weekend of rushed passion years ago and it all came back to him so clearly.

"Please Alex, I need you inside me." she confessed breathlessly. It had been so long since a man made love to her.

He moaned and plunged in deep. She felt so good. Thrusting into Rebecca, he felt like a young man again. "You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear, pumping into her in rhythm together, not rushed, but firm.

He heard her gasp and felt her orgasm. "Oh please, more!" she begged. More? That wasn't a problem, he quickened his pace, he couldn't help himself, she was delicious. Her cries were louder, he wouldn't be long now, with her vocal encouragement. "Yes! Yes!" That did him in, he couldn't hold back if she begged. His low groan in completion and her fingernails digging into his back, they were more than satisfied.

He gave her a gentle kiss and rolled over into bed. They fell asleep holding each other. She woke up in the early morning to use the bathroom, then went back to bed with him, covering them with the quilt. Everything else had fallen to the floor. She laid her head on his chest and he rubbed her shoulder. He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead and said, "I love you."

She smiled sleepily, "I love you, too." She wasn't sure how long she slept, but she woke up with her hand on his penis. She kept stroking him gently and he was moaning quietly.

"Oh god, Rebecca!" He got up quickly and used the bathroom, then came back and layed on top of her. He kissed her hard and grabbed her breast and squeezed. His hips thrusted quickly, not quite hitting the mark. She helped him, wrapped her legs around him and grabbed his ass. He was finally inside her. "Oh, yes! Fuck me!" she cried out. "I need you." she whispered. He drove into her hard, he couldn't stop thrusting into her as she liked. He was sweating and nearly out of breath.

He suddenly stopped. He looked at Rebecca's lovely face, she was crying. He cupped her cheek and his finger removed the tears. "What's wrong, Love?" He asked. "Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head "no". "No, Love. No, you didn't hurt me at all. You were wonderful. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry."

"What's wrong?"

"The last time we were together, we had a baby. And I'm crying because I'm too old to have more. This time won't make a baby."

He held her close and stroked her arm. "Is this why you wanted to be with me again? To try and make another baby?"

She shook her head "no". She stroked his cheek with her hand. "I would never use you like that. I just suddenly was sad that it couldn't happen. All of a sudden I wanted to start over again. Forgive me."

"No need. The same thought crossed my mind. We can start again, loving each other." he reassured her, he reassured them both. He moved to the side and spooned her.

Alex never left. He moved his things into her bedroom and they turned the guest bedroom into his office. He never went back to the studio he had left behind. It was a brand new start.

Instead of more foster children they adopted rescue dogs. They were the children they never had. They were a family. Rebecca's mother embracing the fur babies and Alex.

Alex stayed in touch with Maggie, who kept him informed on how Linda was doing. And no, Rebecca wasn't jealous of Maggie. She figured the woman had good taste in men.

She and Alex didn't get married until much later, but they were so happy, they were always grateful for their second chance.


End file.
